Back to School...

The mad frenzy of office supply purchases
which secretly bring me much joy.
No matter how many boxes of crayons I own,
I cannot pass up a .25 purchase.

The long minutes, struggling to get myself out of bed,
knowing that my summer sleep schedule
needs to be reset.
5:45 is damn early.

The countless hours spent outside of my contract time
hanging posters, cleaning files, rearranging desks,
in order to create a feng shui environment
(for me and the students).

The frantic rush that surges through my veins
as I sit in meetings thinking,
"I have other things to do!".
I generally tend to miss key details because of this
preoccupation.

The finishing touches that can't quite get done
because the laminator needs more film,
the copy machine is broken,
there is no more toner in the printer,
oh yeah, and we ran out of paper.
But the show must go on.

The butterflies of excitement and nerves that comingle and
prevent quality sleep.
No matter that this is my 13th year -
I still get the back to school jitters.
What will my students be like?
Will my schedule work well for me?
Do I have a time built in where I could actually go to the bathroom
without leaving my class unattended?

The anticipation of what is to come,
with new schedules, more students than expected,
and air conditioning that will hopefully work.

The knowledge that I am part of a team -
a huge organism that works together to provide a
safe, intellectually engaging environment for all kids,
mixed with my gratitude to have amazing colleagues.

The flexibility and grace my job requires -
never quite knowing if the bells will work,
or the busses will be on time,
or if everyone will be able to eat in 26 minutes.

These are the thoughts racing through my mind as the new year begins.

I think if I ever realize I am not this enthusiastic/frightened/nervous/anxious/jittery before school starts,
I should have retired the year before.

I still know how to have a bit of fun with my lunchbox!

Travel Memories - Hasse Halley

I chose this travel background because I wanted to spend some time trying to capture the beauty and wonder I have been able to experience by traveling the world.  I've got 9 countries under my belt and I have a wonderful woman to emulate - Hasse Halley.

To Be Continued

I get by with a little help from my friends

Recently some people I love and care about have had to face some difficult struggles.  Medically, financially, and emotionally,  they have needed someone to assist them.  Sadly, I was told that apart from me and a few other family members, my loved ones felt like they had few people to turn to.  This got me thinking about two, seemingly contradictory realities:
1)  Ultimately, we will spend large portions of our life alone.
2)  I am so blessed because my family who would support me if I went through a crisis consists not only of my blood relatives, but a group of friends who have become part of my family, and a group of amazing coworkers who have supported each other through trials, tribulations, and joyous moments in life.

"Like it or not, alone is something we will be quite  lot."  Dr. Seuss's aphorism from Oh the Places You'll Go is a reality check for anyone embarking on a new journey in life.  There are many people who wouldn't necessarily consider themselves their own friend.  This saddens me because I truly believe if you don't love and value yourself, how can others?  So much of our life seems to be dedicated to seeking approval from someone else - a boss acknowledging the work you do, a significant other to make you feel worthwhile, a friend who can validate your decisions.  But what about seeking self approval?  That seems to fall by the wayside.

In some ways, I really admire my loved one's acceptance of this harsh truth.  To Be Continued...

Why are women defined by the men (or lack thereof) in their lives?

I just came home from watching Snow White and the Huntsman.  Even though I am a secret Twihard fan, I have always been a bit bothered by Kristin Stewart.  I feel like she spends the majority of her screen time breathing and batting her eyelids rather than actually having some hutzpah to say something of significance.  Snow White did have a rousing monologue where Stewart's character does rally the troops and encourage them to fight the good fight.  And she does put on the chain mail to ride into battle alongside the men.  But when it comes down to the actual fight with the evil Stepmother, she seems a bit of a wuss.  (Until of course she happens to know exactly where to knife the evil Queen so she will die and not she is not immune to the countless other blades which have been wielded her way.)

What truly bothered me as a writer and read about the film is its lack of focus on a genre.  I don't need to see everything pigeon holed into categories, but I do tend to like my films to be cohesive.  This movie tried to hard to be an action adventure at times, a romance at times, an anthem for girl power at times, and a heroic journey at times.  Now these do not have to be mutually exclusive, but I was really thrown by the potential love interests into this story.  I know our fairy tale version demands the kiss of true love to awaken our pale maiden from the evil spell, but it seemed unnecessary for Snow White to have two suitors.  Is the movie then about her quest to figure out which one is right for her (after all, only one of them broke the curse)?  Is the movie about her quest for vengeance over her father's death?  Is it a survival story?  A battle between good and evil?  A damsel in distress who needs not one, but two hunky men to help her, along with the skills of some wily dwarves?

This got me thinking about a constant fixture in American cinema and media - the necessity of a man to define a woman.  Think about the "chic flixs" that are supposed to appeal to women and what are they about - a 30+ career woman who doesn't have time for a relationship but happens to meet the right man, an ugly duckling who needs a prince to bring her out of her shell and into her pure beauty, that great guy friend in a women's life who just doesn't see her as a potential girlfriend, a woman who is defined by some ass hole move by a man in her life (abandoned father, abusive husband, douche bag fiance) who is finally redeemed by a man who sees her true worth.


You see this even in supposedly "empowered" tales.  Yes, Kristin Stewart pulls on the chain mail to fight, but she has to get the obligatory "You look fetching in chain mail" from Chris Hemsworth.  And while that isn't a compliment I would ever be opposed to if it was thrown my way, does Snow White really need to wear a dress that happens to fall off of her shoulders so we can be amazed by her décolletage?  Here's an image to ponder in what we are teaching with co-ed casts of superheros.


male superheroes posed as women

It may not seem like it, but I am a romantic at heart.  I do believe that the love and commitment couples share can truly make life a shared journey.  And let's face it - life is too difficult to try and handle it solo.  But there are so many other relationships besides romantic (or in the case of comic books, overly sexual) that are worthwhile too and prove that our lives are not lived in isolation.  Women - we must not continually define ourselves by whether or not we are in a relationship, whether or not we've been done wrong by an ex-boyfriend, and stop waiting for a white knight to come to our rescue.  We are all obliged, as members of humanity, to rescue each other and ourselves occasionally.

Men face this same judgment which causes us to define or defend ourselves in terms of our relationships to the opposite sex (or same sex depending on your orientation).  Our identities are somewhat intertwined with those whom we hold dear.  Those people though should be a part of who we are - not the basis for initial description.  And it seems to be so ingrained into feminine culture and media that a woman without a man as a touchstone for her identity is a woman incomplete.

To that I say, my identity is about me and who I am.  And if I chose to include relationships in that description, that is my purgative.  In trying to figure out the theme of Snow White and the Huntsman, I am afraid the filmakers got to focused on Snow White's quest and how it was entangled in the men of her life rather than truly focusing on what it was that drove her.

Now I am done with my feminist, analytical rantings on the fairy tale world and media portrayal of women.  Time for some shut eye so I can find a new topic to bet fired up about!

(Sorry for the random highlighting.  I don't know what I did formatting wise, but I can't undo it, so it is just staying there!)

Mother's Day

"It takes a village to raise a child."  African proverb

As I teacher I know just how true this sentiment is.  Amazing parents can give children a wonderful start in life, but because we are all so interconnected, sometimes it takes more than just one or two adults looking out for the best interests of that kiddo.  A teacher, a coach, a friend's parents, aunts and uncles - they can all be incredibly significant as we stumble through the world and forge our own path.  I am thankful I had so many guides, but I am also thankful for the guide I have had for ever - my Mom.

She can drive me crazy (what daughter hasn't said that?) and I sometimes want to be a parent to her which I am sure she loves, but my Mom is a forever part of me.  I am a (soon to be) 34 year old woman and even now when I am sick, I just want my Mommy.  When she still calls me her baby girl, I get wistful.  When she tells me I was her best birthday present (we are 22 years apart - almost to the hour), I feel such love.  When she tells me to clean my house, I want to say "I am a grown woman and I pay my own mortgage!" but mostly I just say "Yea, I know Mom.  You are right."  When she begins with the newest home improvement plan for my house I want to finish the current one, but I am secretly happy I have her to help me plan things like my strawberry patch and a place for the irises that are descendants from ones that bloomed in my Great-Great-Grandma's garden in Jennings.

I have been fortunate enough to have my Mom and many other "villagers" who have provide me with so much.  From my first bath, my Grandma Delaney has always been close by, teaching me the joys of coupons and Skip Bo.  Though she was taken when I was only 14, my Grandma Brooks taught me how the power of the written word, the musical genius of Abba and The Oak Ridge Boys, and an eternal olfactory memory of her smell - a combination of Oil of Olay, her lipstick, and just a hint of bourbon.  When I was student teaching and I needed a place to stay, Bridget and Steve Rubin let me have a room in the basement.  I am the red-headed step child and I feel honored that I get to be even a small part of this amazing family.

It brings me such joy to see my amazing friends continue this tradition of loving motherhood.  Knowing these amazing women as they have gone through teen angst in high school, making life decisions in college, and starting a life with someone else has shown me how a wonderful friend makes an amazing mother.  I am in awe of Danielle Johnson's ability to balance her teaching career, doctoral pursuit, and loving both Avery and Tessa unconditionally.  And she'll need to keep that endless pursuit of energy going as she gets ready for baby #3 in November.  I got teary when I watched Jayme Pingrey's Critical Literacy project which was a video of her 4 year old Corrine reading her favorite book I Love You Through and Through.  The memories she has captured for Corrine are truly amazing.  I have gotten teary eyed as I meet Helen Porter's beautiful baby girl Lucy and relished getting daily Lucy pictures on facebook.  As I watch Adrienne Almeida - my travel companion from Hawaii, Thailand, and Cambodia - embark on her first year of motherhood I am amazed at how much love her sweet Nayla has brought to her life.  I have watched Katie Cox fall in love with a new man - Michael, her 6 week old son.  I eagerly anticipate the birth of Carolyn Chipley-Foster's baby girl in a few weeks and I can't wait to share in her joy.  I marveled at the miracle of Parker Deken's birth almost 2 years ago while I sat in awe of how calmly and beautifully Liz recovered from weeks of bed rest and revelled in the beauty of her little man.  After welcoming them to the family last year, I am so proud of the bravery and dedication my sister-in-law Misty has shown in raising my 11 year old nephew Maverick.  If I am fortunate enough to become a mother, I know I have an amazing set of women to look to as role models.

For all of the mother figures in my life, for all of my friends who I have watched lovingly care for their amazing children - I wish you a day where you can truly understand how much you mean.  But most especially - I hope my dear friend Stacy Dahm enjoys her wonderful children - birthday girl Allison who just turned 3 and baby Ashley who is just over 6 weeks old.  Stacy and her two sister lost their mother Jeannie last summer and Mother's Day will be bitter sweet, I am sure.  We know that Jeannie is smiling down at the new baby in the family - Ashley Jean - and feeling proud of the wonderful daughters she raised.

I sometimes too think of my Dad on Mother's Day.  One of his favorite authors is Lewis Grizzard who had a book entitled Call Your Mother - I Wish I Could.  Hallmark may have invented the holiday to sell cards, but Mother's Day is truly a needed reminder of the blessings we currently have, and a time to remember the love we received from those who are no longer with us.

The glory that is Purple Cow

While bovines may come in a variety of shapes and colors, purple is usually not one of them.

Unless of course, it is February - then it is time for the Purple Cow to make itself known.

Originally, it was a Golden Cow, still very much a rarity.  It was a chance for two rivals - Hickman and Rock Bridge - to bring it on, lip-sync style.  Who knows how long Golden Cow existed, but for a time, the winners would compete against MU students who were raising funds for RAMS - Rockin' Against Multiple Sclerosis.  In 2009, the Golden Cow was metaphorically killed, and the Purple Cow emerged from the ashes.  Purple Cow aligned itself with Courtwarming week and the king candidates started raising money for the True Life Film Fund.  It became an epic night of entertainment and philanthropy.

This time instead of students competing against each other, they competed against teachers.
Three brave teacher groups gave us some soul (Phil Overeem, his student teacher whose name I have forgotten, Brock Boland, Bill Snead), channeled their inner boy band (Ryan Pingrey, Doug Gordon, Greg Gunn), wondered what was "Zigga-Zig-Ah" (Cat Scholten, Lisa Nieder), http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dv72U_DiCJ8&feature=related mocked the stereotype of a school marm (me), and mimicked the angsty antics of students (MacKenzie Everett-Kennedy, Andrew McCarthy, Cassandra Leuty, Kyle Clower, and Laura Guerdin).  The students didn't know what hit them - "The Wannabes" earned 3rd place and the inaugural trophy went to "Students Vs. Teachers...For Real" (my group). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zJuvDh8424&feature=related

Though they talked a lot of smack claiming a rigged voting system, the students still couldn't handle the teachers for year two.  The 2010 trophy went to the musical stylings of Cat Scholten, Lisa Nieder, Doug Gordon, Ryan Pingrey, and Greg Gunn.  (Alas - there is no youtube evidence of this beautiful work of theater.)  Third place went to my group - the Dan Foldberg (not to be confused with Dan Folgelburg.  One was a musical balladeer, and the other one was a result of a random wikipedia search when my group couldn't figure out a name).  The Hickman Vs. Rock Bridge basketball themed number featured Andrew McCarthy, David Aulgur, Katie LeVota, Bill Snead, MacKenzie Everett-Kennedy and myself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2h66kEV1vA


The third time was the charm for students - winning a very close battle in 2011.  "The Night of the Living Bovine" was an epically staged, choreographed piece of brilliance.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwobOTdIbrU Lady Gaga came in second, giving everyone a glimpse of how sturdy Mr. Gordon could be in homemade 6 inch platforms and a hula hoop skirt. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RpOLMqfy1Q.  "Flirty Dancing", my group, earned third place with a heartwarming story of a nerdy girl finding revenge on the guy who dissed her....Oh yeah, and a pseudo-flashmob with the Cupid Shuffle.  Check out Ashton Honeycutt, Katie LeVota, Sam Kriegel, Marcus James, Cassandra Leuty, Kelley Schwartz, Emma Lopez and me at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhv68KFGscE

And last night was a night of sweet revenge.  Purple Cow returned to its origins and we enjoyed that sweet trophy again.  Parachute Pants Meet Arena Rock brought together me, Katie LeVota, Emma Lopez, Sam Kriegel, MacKenzie Everett-Kennedy, Cassandra Leuty, Nate Armer, Kristin Fite, Jaque Griffin, Eric Johnson, Andrew McCarthy, Dolores Obregon, and Erica Steinbach. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fcA70d7Dok.

I am so very proud looking back on these videos.  Not just for the years when my group won, but for the camaraderie this event brings to Hickman.  I am proud of the students who spend hours learning choreography, cutting music, and watching hours of music videos to prepare.  I am proud of my school which has created this awesome tradition.  I am proud of my colleagues who have brought so much laughter and who remember that life is fun.  I am proud of the Columbia community who supports our efforts and help raise money for a wonderful charity.  And I am so very proud of the estimated $4300 raised by Courtwarming candidates this year for the 2012 True Life Film Fund winner Bully.

MacKenzie Everett-Kennedy, Emma Lopez, and I donned a variety of tattoos to achieve our Arena Rock look.  These aren't going away anytime soon.